The New Year is a time of new beginnings. It is a time to re-evaluate where you are in your life and make decisions based on whether you are happy in your present situation. To seriously see where you want to be, you have to look at the past. Are you happy in your relationship? Is your marriage the partnership that fulfills your needs? These are serious questions to ask, but you deserve nothing less than to tell yourself the absolute truth.
Were the Holidays the last chance?
The time from Thanksgiving through the New Year can be a stressful time if your marriage is already strained. With all of the time spent with family and the excitement of the children, many people take the holiday season to try to reconnect and look for that spark that was there at the beginning of the marriage. For some, a rededication of their marriage and looking for those reasons why they got married may be enough to keep the marriage alive.
Often, if the holidays are looked at as a last chance, the truth is that the marriage is already coming to an end, and a month of holidays is not going to change the past.
Resolve to be Happy
Staying in an unhappy marriage is not an obligation. Many unhappy couples stay together for the children. Having children does require a great deal of sacrifice, compromise, and patience. This does not mean that you have to be miserable in a loveless marriage. Children are very empathic. They pick up on the emotional energy around them. Staying together for the children can be counterproductive as they are now living in a home filled with stress. This stress can result in issues in school and on the playground. Children who live in stressful environments will act out in several ways including ignoring schoolwork and becoming aggressive towards others.
Having to deal with issues such as Child Support, Child Custody, and Visitation, called Parenting Time, may seem to be the greater stress. Ask yourself what is better for you and your children in the long run? If you will be happier after a divorce, then even with all of these other issues, your children will be happier as well.
Let Go of the Past
While you are re-evaluating your marriage, acknowledge the parts of your life that you have either put on hold or have done without altogether. If your spouse is abusive or having affairs or has been stealing from you, then letting go may take some work, even if you require the aid of a mental health professional. A full re-evaluation will also allow you to take all of these negative aspects of your marriage and place them where they belong: in the past.
A divorce is not an easy process. There are a lot of questions that need to be asked about finances and expenses. You will be dealing with looking for a new place to live and it is possible that your kids may have to change schools at some point. These may seem like difficult and daunting parts of ending a marriage. What is the alternative? Are you going to stay unhappy to avoid a difficult, but ultimately a positive change?
You are allowed to make yourself a priority. You are allowed to be happy and have complete control over your life and your decisions.
The New Year is the perfect time to consider what it means to be happy. Give yourself permission to seek a better life. If the holidays were the last chance and it failed, it is time to sit with a legal professional well versed in all areas of family law including Spousal and Child Support and Equitable Distribution of assets. Call the Law Offices of Anthony LoPresti and start to live the life you deserve.