Teenagers often speak their minds—especially when it comes to where they live and how they divide time between parents. As they grow more independent, it's natural for them to want more control over their routines. But when a teen no longer wants to follow a court-ordered custody schedule, the situation can be emotionally charged and legally complex. In New York, how much weight do courts give to a teenager’s preferences—and what can parents realistically do when facing that resistance?
How New York Courts Consider Teen Preferences
In New York, courts always center custody decisions around the best interests of the child. A teen’s opinion is one part of that equation—but it’s not the only one. Judges also consider emotional maturity, consistency in each parent’s involvement, the child’s academic and social stability, and any evidence of stress or conflict in either household.
What Judges Consider
Judges may speak with the teen privately in an in-camera interview to gain insight into their preferences. Courts are careful to evaluate whether those wishes stem from genuine personal needs or from undue influence, unresolved conflict, or emotional strain. Ultimately, the goal is to safeguard the child’s well-being—not to endorse a simple change in scenery.
Why a Teen Might Resist Visitation
Not all teen resistance signals alienation or misconduct. Sometimes, it reflects growing pains, emotional overwhelm, or a desire for routine.
Common Causes
- Strained relationships with one parent
- Emotional or mental health challenges
- Conflicting school, work, or social obligations
- Feeling unheard or dismissed in the visitation process
Understanding the reasons behind a teen’s refusal allows parents and courts to approach the issue with empathy, rather than confrontation.
When Counseling Changes the Dynamic
Consider a hypothetical case involving a 15-year-old boy from Long Island who began skipping visits with his father due to anxiety and discomfort. The father initially believed the other parent was interfering. But after working with a neutral counselor, it became clear the teen felt overwhelmed by the rushed transitions. With small changes to the schedule and improved communication, visitation resumed without court intervention. This kind of resolution, while not universal, shows how meaningful progress can come from listening and adjusting.
Parental Duties and Court Expectations
Even when teens push back, court orders must still be followed. Custodial parents are expected to make good-faith efforts to encourage visitation—even if their child objects.
Parental Role in Compliance
Courts understand that physically forcing a teen isn’t reasonable or productive. What they want to see is encouragement, support, and active attempts to uphold the order. If the custodial parent is dismissive or enables avoidance, it may be viewed as interference with the other parent’s rights.
Judicial Responses to Teen Refusal
Judges recognize that custody arrangements aren’t static. As kids grow older, courts often take a more flexible approach—but only when it truly serves the child’s development.
Court Strategies
Depending on the circumstances, courts may:
- Conduct private interviews with the teen
- Recommend or mandate family counseling
- Investigate whether either parent has contributed to the conflict
- Adjust visitation schedules to better reflect the teen’s life and needs
When a Teen’s Preference Isn’t Enough
Take, for example, a hypothetical 16-year-old girl in Nassau County who asked to live full-time with her mother, saying she felt more emotionally supported there. While the judge acknowledged her perspective, the court found no material change in circumstances that justified a legal modification. Instead, the judge ordered family therapy and set a review period. This type of approach reflects the balance courts aim for—acknowledging the teen’s voice while prioritizing long-term stability.
Seeking a Custody Modification
If a teen’s refusal becomes ongoing and starts disrupting routines or relationships, a custody modification might be appropriate. But this isn’t something courts grant lightly.
What Courts Need to See
A successful request usually involves:
- Evidence of a significant, sustained change in circumstances
- Proof that the current arrangement is no longer serving the child’s best interests
- Demonstrated efforts by both parents to follow the existing order
Behavioral shifts, emotional distress, or logistical challenges must be well documented. Judges want to see that parents aren’t using preference as a shortcut—but rather as part of a larger concern for their child’s growth and well-being.
Contact The Law Office of Anthony J. LoPresti Today
Navigating custody with teenagers isn’t easy. Their needs evolve, their voices get louder, and sometimes the structure that once worked stops fitting. If you're facing a custody challenge—whether due to resistance, confusion, or concern—let us help you explore your legal options with clarity and care.
Call The Law Office of Anthony J. LoPresti at (516) 252-0223 or contact us online to schedule a confidential consultation.